Final Fantasy Kiss Battle Contributions
by sapereaude13
Summary: A combination of little stories with characters from FF4-12 and includes crossovers. All of these were submissions to first seventhe's Valentine's Day Kiss Battle on Livejournal. Each story's pairing is labeled.
1. FF8 Zell

Final Fantasy VIII – Zell

-----

Hmm.

This sorta thing shouldn't really be left lying around, he thinks. Someone could get the wrong impression about him. How a copy of that trashy _Girl Next Door_ had gotten mixed in with his back issues of _Combat King_, he isn't sure. It belongs in the trash. It's gross and objectifies…

Does this girl have _pigtails_?

Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to just peek. He's not a pervert like Zone. He closes his eyes. No. No, this isn't the sort of thing he needs to waste his time on. But pigtails…

He cracks one eye open just slightly, so it's kind of blurry, but there's no mistaking it. _For more, turn to page twenty-seven_. Alright, he'll just read it and throw it away. Turns out Pigtails is actually named Lerinne and she's from Deling City. She enjoys Triple Triad, going to the movies and…

What was that? He slams the magazine shut quickly and looks up. Nobody in the hallway. His mind's playing tricks. He learns more about Lerinne's hobbies, and if she wasn't topless on top of a Galbadian army truck, he'd probably be interested. Her eyes are so pretty, maybe it wouldn't hurt to just give her a kiss before he dumps the damn thing in the garbage.

This is really stupid, he thinks as he presses his lips against the glossy paper. But he hasn't been on a date in a while, so what's the harm really? When he pulls back, Lerinne's just as happy as ever, her hand saluting a passing General as her pigtails fall to her shoulders. One more won't hurt…

"Chicken wuss, what the hell are you doing?"

He drops the magazine like it's burned him, the pages falling open to show Lerinne laying in the grass outside the Deling City gates, naked as the day she was born.

Seifer's laughter stings his ears as he continues on his way down the hall, and Zell picks up the magazine in a huff, dumping the stupid thing straight in the trash. There will be no living this down. He kicks the garbage can angrily. Pigtails will be the death of him.


	2. FF8 SeiferIrvine

Final Fantasy VIII: Seifer/Irvine

-----

"You've gotta be kidding. I won't do it."

"You can't back out, man. You lost." Zell scowled. "You know, if I had lips like yours, I'd do it."

Irvine felt ready to vomit into his own hat. He vowed never to get drunk with Zell ever again. He vowed never to get drunk and compete in a series of escalating dares with Zell ever again. Frankly, he vowed never to spend more than five minutes in Zell's presence for the rest of his life. Zell held out the tube impatiently.

"He's gonna wake up soon, so we have to get the picture now!"

Irvine yanked the tube away and opened it. "Where the hell did you get this?"

Zell shrugged. "Selphie's purse."

It was the color of blood and felt awful going on, like all the moisture he'd had in his lips was now replaced with something waxy and soul-sucking. How chicks could wear this stuff for hours on end would never make any sense.

"Alright!" Zell said, "Stand behind him and wave to the camera!"

Irvine did as ordered, standing behind the sleeping Seifer. Zell pointed the camera at him, and Irvine gave him a thumbs up and a kissy face. _Click_

"Looking good! Now, on the lips, Kinneas," Zell ordered.

Sighing and wishing he wasn't getting sober so quickly, he bent down and pressed his lipsticked mouth to Seifer's. He tried to ignore how surprisingly soft his lips were and how much he wished he'd be doing this under far different circumstances. _Click_ He was so grateful the guy slept like the dead – they could try bombing the Garden and still he'd sleep through it. When he leaned up again, Seifer had a cherry colored smooch stain all around his mouth.

"Are you happy now? I feel like an idiot," Irvine protested, wiping the lipstick off only to groan at the way it stained the back of his hand. He was glad his face was red from the alcohol – Zell would never really be able to know otherwise. Zell snatched the tube of makeup away and uncapped it once more.

"I can get five hundred color copies of this by noon tomorrow – I know a guy at the store." Irvine stepped back to watch Zell draw an obscene picture on the side of Seifer's face with the dark lipstick. _Click_

"Can we go now?" he asked nervously.

An annoyed moan indicated that their victim was waking, and Irvine had never run so fast in all his life, Zell at his heels laughing hysterically.


	3. FF10 YunaBaralai

Final Fantasy X: Yuna/Baralai

-----

"He's been returned to you, the one you were looking for?"

She nods and smiles, watching as he masks the disappointment with a neutral expression. "Yes. I had never imagined it possible."

They stare out at the spires of Bevelle in silence, and she wishes he could find someone to make him happy. He deserves happiness after all the struggles he's faced. Yuna isn't sure why she felt it was necessary to come and tell him, but she thought it best he heard it from her before rumors began to circulate.

The sun begins to set, and she knows they are all waiting for her aboard the ship. "I have to get back." She turns to leave but pauses. Yuna bites her lip and knows she shouldn't ask – knows it will probably hurt. "You are welcome to join us. We are having a bit of a celebration…"

He sighs and shakes his head. "My place is here, Lady Yuna."

She nods, hearing the finality in his words and wishing it could be different. As she moves away from him, she barely notices his hand grasp hers until he's already brought it to his lips. She can feel the hairs on the back of her neck raise as he bids her farewell, and his eyes are solemn when he releases her hand.

"You are always welcome here," he whispers before turning back to gaze out at the city.


	4. FF12 Basch and Ashe

Final Fantasy XII: Basch and Ashe

-----

The Princess is a real handful, and Basch tries passing off guard duty to Vossler or anyone else who will take it. One would think guarding the King is the hardest job, but guarding his daughter is far more difficult. The nine year old is all arms and legs, and her latest adventures usually leave Basch's heart in his throat. Princess Ashelia fancies herself a Viera now, and she likes to climb the tall trees in the palace gardens.

It is very difficult to maintain a stoic front when a little girl is scrambling over tree limbs and sticking branches in her hair to stand in for Viera ears. Right now, she is perched on a branch just overhead and is raining down blossoms and leaves on his head.

"Basch?"

"Yes, Princess?" he replies as a handful of leaves tangle in his hair.

"Do the Viera mate for life?"

The question isn't so very strange. Ashelia likes to ask challenging questions, seeing how many of her guards' buttons she can push before they bring her back inside to the stern nanny she loathes.

"They live very long lives, so I would think not."

"If I was a Viera, I would."

He pulls some of the leaves out of his hair and tosses them to the ground. "That is a very noble thing, Princess." Another solid ton of leaves cascades around him. "Are you making me into a tree, little Viera?"

She giggles, but it is short lived. Apparently, the Viera Ashelia has the same lack of balance as the Princess Ashelia, and she slips on the branch. "Basch!" He has to hold in a laugh at the sight of the girl clinging desperately to the tree limb, her skinny legs kicking in the air.

"Yes, Princess?"

Her grip is slipping, and he pulls her into his arms and sets her down on the ground before him. Ashelia pouts, sticking out her bottom lip at him. "I don't want to be a Viera any longer."

"Perhaps that is for the best," he agrees.

She scratches her head then, pondering her next adventure. "Bend forward!"

He does as ordered and is shocked into silence when she kisses him full on the mouth. She scampers away laughing.

"I think I'll be a sky pirate!" she shouts across the courtyard. "And I've just stolen my first treasure!"

He shakes his head. He prays that Vossler will have the strength to endure the Sky Pirate Ashelia tomorrow afternoon.


	5. FF12 Vossler and Ashe

Final Fantasy XII: Vossler and Ashe

-----

He can slaughter monsters and soldiers alike without so much as a blink of his eye, but this…this has him shaking in his boots.

The King sits to breakfast in his chambers, continually eyeing him suspiciously over the rim of his mug. Ashelia sits by her father's side, eating her eggs with abandon and looking innocent as a baby lamb. Vossler grits his teeth, knowing exactly why he's been called in.

"Is your breakfast to your liking, Your Majesty? Perhaps I could call for more tea…"

Raminas sighs and sets the cup down. "That will not be necessary, Captain Azelas."

He nods and doesn't stop nodding. He must appear agreeable and just as innocent as the devious little imp that masquerades as a Princess. "Of course, sir. I will be here if you require anything else."

"I wish to hear your side of a very…" His liege fumbles for the words. "…_interesting_ matter that was brought to my attention just this morning."

Ashelia looks up from her breakfast then, daring him to speak. The little spitfire will be the death of him someday, he is sure of it.

"My daughter informs me that you spurned her affections most grievously."

He narrows his eyes at the Princess, wondering why a girl of nine had tried to steal not only his trousers but his breath early that morning in the barracks. Basch warned him that Ashelia has been on a kissing spree, but he didn't believe it until the girl pounced on him before the sun rose.

Clearing his throat, he sees that the King expects a certain answer, and he prays that he has the right one. "Sir, your daughter…" Ashelia takes a sip of juice and winks at him. "She attempted to wake me this morning, and for that I am grateful. There is no better alarm system than the Princess Ashelia." Vossler would rather be cleaning the latrines at this point. "However, I must humbly ask you to have her save her affections for her betrothal ceremony next month."

Raminas lets his eyes dart over quickly to see his daughter's daring look, and he finally understands. "I see. Thank you, Captain Azelas. That will be all."

When he returns to the barracks later that morning, he is greeted by the sight of a laughing Basch…and his trousers, which have been returned covered in mud and other muck from the chocobo stables. There is nothing more amusing (or infuriating) than tending to the Princess Ashelia.


	6. FF12 FfamranFran

Final Fantasy XII – Ffamran/Fran

-----

"Ffamran, are you crying?" she asks quietly so the man with the large needle can't hear. "It hasn't even happened yet."

He scowls at her with as much menace as a sixteen year old Hume child can possess. "I am not crying. Whatever incense someone is burning in this filthy place is making my eyes water."

She nods, wondering again why she's bothered to partner with this boy. He can barely even talk without his voice cracking yet he deigns to give the orders. Today is Earring Attainment Day, some ritual he finds necessary to continue his transformation from runaway judge to full fledged sky pirate. Fran has no need for such things, but she is not a Hume teenager who has only read about piracy in books.

Fran watches Ffamran's eyes grow redder as the man rubs something wet on his ear to prepare it for the inevitable. "Look at me."

He does so, still not entirely trusting. Fran gives the man with the needle a look, and she leans forward, grasping the boy by the chin and pulling his face against hers. He sighs happily, and she tries not to roll her eyes. Ffamran's joy is cut short then, and he cries out against her lips as the needle pierces his ear. She continues kissing his trembling lips until the man pats her on the shoulder to indicate that it is all over.

The poor boy looks confused, excited and mortified all at once. He fusses with his new ear jewelry and can't really look at her. "Fran?"

"Yes?"

"Can I get another one?"


	7. FF12 VayneDrace

Final Fantasy XII – Vayne/Drace

-----

"I would have you instruct me, Drace."

She glances aside to see the young man looking pointedly at her over his stack of books. "I am not a suitable tutor, my lord. You have Master Caros for that."

Her petulant charge crosses his arms and leans back in the chair. "I require a different kind of instruction. You will teach me how to kiss properly."

Drace cannot help but raise an eyebrow at this request. Word has been circulating that the young lord's mother will be having another child – perhaps he wishes to grow up now that he will no longer be the youngest. "My lord, I serve the Empire. That is not appropriate. Are there no willing girls at court for that sort of thing?"

Vayne smacks an angry fist on the desk, sending a pile of his translations and arithmetic to the floor. "I do not want to learn from some _girl_. I am a man now, Drace. And in serving the Empire, you serve me."

She measures her next words carefully. A fourteen year old in a temper must be dealt with appropriately. Striding over to the desk, she leans on his chair to look down at him. "Why ask me? Zargabaath serves the Empire as well."

Such talk could get her drawn and quartered, but the young lord is not so troublesome and quick to anger as his siblings. Instead of berating her, Vayne laughs. "Well played, Drace." He startles her then, shoving the chair back and rising to plant a kiss on her cheek. "Well played, indeed."


	8. FF12 AsheAlCid

Final Fantasy XII – Ashe/Al-Cid

-----

"You really think it's supposed to go on that long?" Vaan asked Penelo, whose face was turning redder and redder by the second.

"I don't know," she replied, "Al-Cid said it was the way you welcome a friend on their first visit to your home in Rozarria."

Vaan cocked his head to the side, watching Ashe's hand ball up into a fist as Al-Cid kissed her cheeks and the corners of her lips again and again. Needless to say, life in Rozarria differed from Dalmasca quite a bit. "Do you think he was lying?"

"Why would he lie to Ashe?" Penelo's eyes widened. "Oh no, I think he's going to try and…"

The sound of Ashe's gloved hand slapping the Rozarrian aristocrat almost hurt his ears. "That's enough!" Ashe fumed. "I feel all too welcome!"

Al-Cid stepped back, rubbing his sore cheek. He turned away from the furious Queen of Dalmasca and looked in their direction. Penelo clung to his arm then. "You don't suppose he's going to welcome us, do you?"


	9. FF12 RW FiloKytes

Final Fantasy XII Revenant Wings – Filo/Kytes

-----

"You really think sky pirates need to learn how to do that?"

Filo crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Well, that's what Balthier told me. And he's the best sky pirate there is."

Kytes eyed her warily. "But it's gross."

She shook her head. "It is not! It's just another way to get what you want."

"And Balthier told you that too?"

"Kytes, come on! We have to get better at all aspects of piracy, you know?" She placed her hands on his shoulders. "We can fight crazy beasts, pillage with the best of them, but what we need to learn is sweet talking and other acts of predation."

"What?"

"Predation…Balthier told me that…"

Kytes tried to shove her hands away. "Don't you mean _persuasion_?"

"Predation, persuasion! Whatever! Are we doing this or not?"

He sighed. "Fine. Go ahead and practice." She leaned forward, and he leaned back. "But just one time. I don't want to get cooties, okay?"

She closed her eyes and gave him a smooch. Kytes kept his lips tight together and groaned in irritation – this wasn't as easy as attacking monsters. How did Balthier get so darn good at it? He was persuading Ashe all the time…

Kytes shoved her away. "Enough, alright? Yuck!" He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'll stick to stealing if that's fine with you, Filo!" She watched him run off, and she sighed.

Vaan wandered into the room then, and Filo brightened. "Hey Vaan, can you help me practice?"


	10. FF4 FF7 RenoRydia 1

Final Fantasy IV/Final Fantasy VII: Reno/Rydia

-----

He hates patrol. Where's the excitement? Just a bunch of drunks and lowlifes fighting for the best spot in the gutter. And now he's saddled with her.

Not that he minds really – she's gorgeous. He never thought of a Turks uniform as something sexy, but then again, Elena spends most of her time yammering on about how it makes her ass look huge. On this girl it's like a glove, hugging her curves in all the right places – does she have any idea?

Probably not. She's too busy gawking at all the neon lights that make it look like daylight in the slums. Tseng must have thought he'd been the one to eat the last box of Moogle-O's in the break room and sent him to wander around as punishment. He watches her lips as she bites them in her barely concealed excitement, her eyes widening as they pass a few bars and gentlemen's clubs. He supposes that this isn't the best neighborhood for a lady, especially one from another world entirely, but surely there are brothels where she's from.

He's startled out of his staring when she tugs on his sleeve. "What's that?"

"What's what?"

She is sheepish and gestures with her hand. "That over there. What is that man selling?"

Reno lifts his gaze finally from her cleavage to spy an ice cream vendor at the end of the row. The hell is this guy doing setting up in this neighborhood? But Rydia's eyes are sparkling at the thought of such a treat, and he realizes that she's probably never seen such a thing before. Fumbling around in his pockets for some change, he tugs her by her elbow over to the stand.

"Alright, which one do you want?" She still looks so confused, and since they have places to be, he shakes his head and points to a chocolate and vanilla swirled cone. The vendor hands it over, and she nearly stumbles back in her surprise.

"It's cold!" she squeals as she gets her very first taste of ice cream, and he can't help but smile. He gives the vendor a nod and drags her away.

"Don't spill on that uniform, alright? It looks unprofessional." She raises an eyebrow at that, looking pointedly at his untucked shirt and loosened tie. "Shut up," he mutters.

They continue through the streets, and he sees that a bit of the chocolate has settled at the corner of her mouth. He shouldn't really, but he hasn't had ice cream in a while either. Stopping her with a hand to her wrist, she looks up in confusion. "Is there something on my face?" she asks quietly, trying to wipe her mouth but hitting the wrong side.

Too easy. The chocolate isn't the best he's ever had, but it's the slums, so his expectations are low. But the way the ice cream has mingled with the taste of her makes it worth the handful of gil. "All good now," he says with a smirk as she turns away angrily. Patrol isn't so bad.


	11. FF4 FF7 RenoRydia 2

Final Fantasy IV/Final Fantasy VII: Reno/Rydia

It had been a perfect night. Unlike most of the women he's dated before, this one obviously prefers to be wined and dined before giving in, which isn't so bad really. There should be more women like her, at least that's what Rude is always bitching about when some broad tries to get in his pants before he even opens the car door for her.

She was fascinated by the menu at the restaurant. The lobsters in the tank nearly sent her away screaming and then the movie afterward had really thrown her for a loop. He was glad he hadn't taken her to the 3-D theater – that would have really kept him from getting laid tonight. Speaking of, he's got her against the door and she's playing hard to get – letting him kiss her cheeks but not allowing him access to her mouth.

"Why are you being so hasty with me?" she remarks, holding on to the lapels of his jacket.

He nuzzles her neck, smelling the sweet perfume Rufus himself had picked out for her, the bastard. "Hasty? I think not. I call this _methodical_ if anything, sweetheart."

She purrs a bit when he darts out his tongue to tickle her ear. "If you say so." After a few more minutes paying attention to everything but her mouth, she finally grants him permission. She tastes like the fruity drink he'd bought her at the bar after the movie, like tart berries and a twist of lime.

It's all going very well. Very well. She's got her hands in his hair, and he wonders if he should call her out on being the hasty one now. His cell buzzes in his pocket, and he groans.

"Reno!" She shoves him away quickly, a look of horror crossing her face. "What…what is…?"

Oh for the love of…

"It's not what you're thinking, alright?" He takes the phone from his pocket. Rude. The son of a bitch. Flinging the phone onto the couch, he turns back to her, but the moment's gone. Damn it.


	12. FF4 FF7 RenoRydia 3

Final Fantasy IV/Final Fantasy VII – Reno/Rydia

-----

He should have realized something was wrong when the delivery boy smiled at him. It's been a long day. Some punk had taken a shot at him, an old brothel madam had put him in a choke hold and then there had been the stacks of paperwork waiting back at the office. All he wants is peace and quiet.

She's sitting in front of the TV when he walks in the door, as she has been every night since he's let her crash there. "Hi Reno," she remarks innocently as he takes off his jacket and tosses his keys on the table.

He's halfway to the kitchen for a beer when he trips over the box. "What the…"

A blur of emerald in the corner of his eye followed by two arms around his neck and a tasty mouth to kiss helps him ignore the growing pain in his foot. "I bought you something!" she exclaims happily.

He raises an eyebrow and nudges the gigantic box with his toe. "How?" He'd left her here all day, and his wallet was…

Rydia smiles and waves the bit of plastic in his face. "Well, I saw it on the…tele…televisor, and I knew you'd like it."

Oh shit, she'd stolen his credit card. "Rydia, you didn't…_use_ that card did you? To pay for this?"

She looks at him strangely. "It's the same as using gil, isn't it?"

Thinking of the mound of bills already gathering dust on the coffee table, he collapses onto the couch and puts his face in his hands. "No, it is _not_ the same as using gil. What the hell did you buy?" Her face goes as red as his hair then, and he wants to strangle her. 

She backs off and hovers in the corner. "It says that it cooks food in seconds. A micro…microsomething?"

"I already have a microwave," he complains. "How much did this microwave cost?"

She mutters so quietly that he doesn't hear her. Narrowing his eyes at her, she looks to her feet. "17,000 gil…is that too much?" He's ready to faint. She sits beside him and kisses his cheek. "I'm paying for this, aren't I?"

"Yep."

She leans her head on his shoulder and sighs, slipping the credit card in between his fingers. "Sorry."

"I forgive you."

"Good," she mumbles. "Because I bought eight of them."


	13. FF6 FF12 EdgarAshe

Final Fantasy VI/Final Fantasy XII – Edgar/Ashe

-----

Larsa has requested, nay, commanded them all to commence mingling, and much as she longs to depart, she doesn't need to start a diplomatic incident. Rising from her chair, she can already see the predatory eyes of half a dozen suitors working their way through the dining hall of the Archadian palace to request a dance. She's stuffed to the gills with the lobster and mutton and gods know what else she'd been fed that evening, and dancing is the last thing she wishes to do.

Al-Cid nabs her first, and she allows him to march her around like some prize. In truth, Ashe isn't looking for a husband here at this ball. She doesn't require one, but as the most eligible lady in Ivalice and beyond, her ministers keep prodding her to attend these events – these "goodwill parties to strengthen diplomatic ties" which are in actuality blind dates for the Queen of Dalmasca.

After the first few dances and dull conversations, she spies an elegantly attired blond gentleman leaning on Larsa's table laughing and joking. She's not seen him at these events before, and there is a certain intelligence and spark in his eyes that sets him apart from the other irritating suitors. Breaking away from the Duke of She-Can't-Remember, she approaches Larsa's table, insinuating herself between the new man and the Archadian Emperor.

"What a lovely event, Lord Larsa," she cheers, although her eyes suggest otherwise and the young Emperor nods knowingly. His advisors are trying to find him a match as well. She turns to the other man and raises an eyebrow. "I'm afraid we haven't been introduced?"

To her surprise, the man immediately drops to a knee and takes her hand, laying a kiss on it that puts all of Al-Cid's previous attempts to shame. "Edgar, King of the great land of Figaro, Your Highness."

Oh dear. She mistook the lust in his eyes for intelligence. And now she has made the first move by coming over. "I am unfamiliar with Figaro. Where is that exactly?" She tries to put a bit of scorn into her words – perhaps this Edgar will be deterred by the icy manner of speaking that has scared off so many dukes, counts and gentlemen these past few years.

But King Edgar is undeterred, finally rising to his feet but not releasing her hand. Ashe can see Larsa's embarrassment from the corner of her eye. "Ah, it is far west of this great place, my dear lady." He is daring to brush his thumb over her knuckles possessively, and she understands immediately why this man, though a King, remains a bachelor even now. He's rather greedy.

She snatches her hand back as smoothly as possible. "Well, it has been lovely to meet you, but I really must be…"

He's already got her by the elbow and is half-escorting, half-dragging her to the floor. She can see the eyes of others upon them, and it disgusts her to read approval in their faces. Surely she is mistaken. "Lord Larsa has informed me that Dalmasca is in need of an heir?"

"Are you propositioning me so soon?" she hisses as he pulls her to him.

"You are not a romantic, are you, Lady Ashe?"

"No." She tries to step on his foot, but he dodges gracefully. "What is your game, sir?"

"I will win you."

"I am no prize to be won."

"So you say." He leans forward to whisper in her ear. "If you win, I'll leave, never to trouble you again. If I win, you let me court you."

She stops dancing to glare at him. "Win? Win what?"

He slips a hand into his pocket, producing a shiny golden item. "Just a coin toss. What do you say?"


	14. FF6 FF12 UltrosBalthier heh

Final Fantasy VI/Final Fantasy XII – Ultros/Balthier

-----

When Fran finds her partner inside the Whitecap, he is already beyond drunk. He is at that special point in the evening where he begins to curse liberally, picks fights and tries to get away with calling her "Frannie."

She sits beside him and frowns as the buxom barmaid sets down several pitchers of some dark brew that makes her nose itch. To her surprise, Balthier ignores the bountiful bosom before him and instead begins shakily pouring the ale into his mug.

"Is something the matter?"

He can only nod, gulping down the alcohol with abandon.

"Would you care to tell me what it is?"

He shakes his head, and that is when she notices the faint pink marks on the side of his face. Fran isn't sure what they are, and she decides to let Balthier tell her when he is good and ready.

Two and a half pitchers later, Balthier is more than ready to share. "It talked, Fran."

She raises an eyebrow. Her partner had decided to tempt fate and take on a mark all by his lonesome that afternoon. He'd claimed that it was to "keep his reflexes sharp" but since she's landed the killing blow on the last dozen marks they've tracked, she imagines that it was more a matter of pride.

"Talked?"

He nods. "He…it…" Balthier's forehead wrinkles in confusion over the correct pronoun to use. "The blasted thing _talked_."

Fran's partner is given to flights of fancy, especially when he is trying to impress her, but this is a bit much. "I wasn't aware that an octopus was capable of speech."

Balthier scowls. "I could say the same about Vaan." He cracks his knuckles and calls for another round of drinks. "I swear to you, it talked."

"And what did the octopus say?"

"He…" Balthier sighs. He then leans forward to whisper, as if the next words are very difficult. "He said 'Don't tease the octopus, pirate'."

Fran waves the barmaid away. "I think that's enough alcohol for you."

He grabs her hands then and pleads with her. "Would I lie about a _talking octopus_?"

She takes the opportunity to satisfy her curiosity. "And did you kill him?"

"No."

"No?"

"He…he surprised me…"

"Oh?"

Balthier releases her hands and points to his cheek. "He might have gotten a bit friendly."

"The _talking octopus_ got _friendly_?"

Her partner looks ready to murder her, but he can't possibly expect her to believe that…

"The damn octopus licked my face like a Rozarrian prostitute!"

She rises from her chair. "I'm flying the ship tomorrow."


End file.
